Praise God During the Storm

And I'll praise you in this storm, And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are, No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hands

You've never left my side, And tho my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

A few weeks ago my mom was admitted into the hospital. She was having spells of confusion and shaky hands. It worried me. My first thought was a stroke. We had went to the ER a few months ago with the same thing and they said it was Acute Memory Loss and in most cases it may never happen again...but it did!  I prayed on the way to the ER, God please let us get the right doctor this time to find out just exactly what is going on. After spending hours in the waiting room, we finally got called into the back. They did all kinds of test and her ammonia level was extremely high. They said the cause was the liver. They admitted her and the next day started running test. That afternoon, the doctor came around and told us that she has cirrhosis of the liver. My world was turned upside down. I had already lost my dad a few years ago. Why does this have to happen to my mom? She's all I have left. I was glad we finally found out what was causing all her problems but I never thought it would be something that serious.  I know that some people live for years but some do not. They have started her on meds that will keep her ammonia level down and just keep a watch on everything with blood work. She is also on blood thinner because of some blood clots they found last year. Taking meds for her liver and being on blood thinner is very dangerous. She can easily bleed internally.She also has been told that she can no longer take any pain meds, not even for a headache. We have taken this news pretty hard but yet we are believing and claiming a miracle! We know that God is able. Most days my mom is upbeat and she tells everyone that God is going to heal her. There are some days tho that she gets upset, which it's normal. We have told people that we don't want to hear anything negative. One day, a lady did speak something negative to my mom but my mom didn't tell me until the next day. Had I known, I probably would have said something not nice to that lady, so it was probably best. My mom is facing more test next week and we will find out more info on some things we have questions about. I was recently told, Praise God during your storm. The more God sees you worship, the quicker He can bring you out of that storm. I'm believing that God is going to do something great in this. 

God will make this trial a blessing!

So much has gone on since the last time I have blogged. My mom gave me a another scare and I had to rush her to the hospital. Thank God everything turned out ok. A couple weeks prior to that a minister had spoken over her saying that a miracle was going to happen in her body. On the morning I had to take her to the hospital, I had already left for church because I had choir practice. I received a phone call saying something was wrong with my mom and was not acting like herself and I needed to get home. I had just made it to the church. I run in to tell my section leader what was going on and then took off back home. I WAS SCARED! I begin praying and claiming healing in my mom's body. I reminded God that he had said a miracle was going to happen. And it did. I got my mom to the hospital and they were sure she had had a stroke. They admitted her and begin running test. By that time, a few of my friends had texted me wondering why I wasn't at church. I told them what was going on and they begin praying. The next day, the doctor came around and said that they could not find anything wrong with her. They said sometimes it just happens and called it Acute Memory Loss. But I know a God who is a healer! I believe that with all the prayers that went forth for my mom, that God healed her. To this day she has not had another spell.   

In the meantime, I am also dealing with losing hours at work. In the next couple of weeks I will be going from 40 hours a week to 20 hours a week. Its going to be a hard adjustment. I'm not ready for all these changes that are taking place. I wonder sometimes just how much more I can handle. I've dealt with a lot lately surely there's got to be a break in there somewhere. But I'm trusting God. I know he's got it all under control. I may not seem it right now but I know its coming. Just have to TRUST and BELIEVE.

Fear Not

Haven't updated my blog in awhile. Been a lot going on. This time of the year is always hard for me.  During this time of the year 9 years ago is when we found out my dad had cancer. This year my mom is dealing with a lot of health problems. Not sure what all we may be facing but I'm trusting that God is going to see us through and that HE WILL HEAL her. Pastor preached a message this morning about Fear Not! Whatever the situation is that you are going through, Fear Not. God is in control of it all and He will see you through. One of the scriptures used in his message this morning was Psalm 25:14, The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant. He also read from Psalm 91. I'm claiming healing for my mom. I know that God is going to bring us through. He said it in His Word.

Walking down Memory Lane

Having a rough day today! While on my way to work this morning I was wondering how my aunt was doing, who is in the hospital. All of the sudden from out of no where, memories of my dad's last hours popped into my head. Maybe its because Father's Day is just around the corner, I don't know. People have told me that it gets easier as the years pass by. Sure we have to go on with life, God helps us through every day, but reliving those painful memories never gets easier. I try focusing on all the good memories that I have of my dad. Some times at night my mom and I sit outside on the porch and we talk about all the good memories we have with my dad. It helps both of us to sit and talk. I also cherish those moments because it brings me closer to my  mom.

I choose to be a witness

Constant witnessing for Christ helps the salt to keep its savor.

While doing a bible study this morning, this one sentence really caught my eye and got me to thinking.

Matthew 5:13 says,"Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

We are to be witnesses for Christ. He wants us to tell others about Him. Invite people to church. Don't keep it to yourself. We give the excuses(myself included), I'm too shy, I don't know what to say, this is out of my comfort zone, someone else can do better, etc.

Acts 1:8 says,"But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea,and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

We need to step out of our comfort zone. We need to be constant witnesses to others around us. Even if you do not speak to every person that you see that day, the way you dress and your attitude speaks to them.

I am guilty of not witnessing to people the way I should. I have family who are not in the church. I want to invite them but I am always afraid I will say the wrong thing. But what if God holds me accountable for them. I want to see them make it to heaven.  I pray that God helps me to be a witness. A song comes to mind as I write this. Its by Ray Boltz. The name of it is "Thank You."

It talks about him dreaming that he went to heaven and people came up to him saying:

              Thank you for giving to the Lord

               I am a life that was changed

              Thank you for giving to the Lord

               I am so glad you gave.

I would love for that to happen to me. To know that I was a good influence on someone's life. It doesn't have to be something big that you do. It can be small. May God bless each of you that reads this. My prayer is that we can win lost souls. 

God is with you no matter what!

I thought I would share my testimony. I have never really told anyone what I went through and still now it is hard to really talk about it but I hope that I am able to help someone.

In December 2003, we noticed that something was wrong with my dad. His mouth was drawled to one side, he was spilling things, it was just little things but we knew something was wrong. We tried to get him to go to the doctor but he wouldn't go.  On Christmas day, we went to a friends' house to eat dinner.  They even noticed that something was wrong.  As we were getting ready to leave, my mom said she would take him to the emergency room. He refused. But instead of my mom turning to go home, she turned toward the hospital.  At the hospital they did a CAT scan and found a brain tumor.  We were devastated!

The next day, they did a MRI and found other small tumors on the brain. On the right side, the tumor covered the whole side. Two days after Christmas they did surgery and found out it was cancer. I can still see the doctors face as he told us the bad news.  It was one of the fastest growing kinds there is.  There was nothing they could really do. Chemo wouldn't really help. It would only make him sick. The doctor said to just go home and enjoy the time you have left. 

We prayed every day that God would heal him. Every morning my mom, dad, and I would join hands and pray. The surgery had paralyzed his left side. He begin gaining some strength back. I honestly believed that he was going to be healed. A month after his surgery, he started going down. He was in a lot of pain. They begin giving him morphine and shortly after he went into a coma.  The hospice nurse pulled us aside and told us that we were going to have to tell him that it was okay to go. He was only holding on because of my mom and I. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

On January 30, 2004 he passed away. I was so mad at God. For months I could not get over it. I shut everyone out. I would not talk about it. I still went to church but I just sat there. One night, we were having a really good service. I begin to pray right where I was sitting. I asked God to forgive me. I knew it wasn't God's fault that my dad had died. i just missed him so much.  God gave me peace that night.

God has brought me through many trials. In September 2008, I almost lost my mom. She had to have emergency surgery. God reached down and brought her through. Other things have happened in my life, but no matter what I serve a God who will always be there to bring me through.

My Prayer

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour, I know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hand, crafted into Your perfect plan. You gently call me intoYour presence, guiding me by, Your holy Spirit, teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through your eyes. I'm captured by Your holy calling, set me apart, I know Your drawing me to Yourself, Lead me Lord I pray.

Take me, Mold Me, Use me, Fill me. I give my life to the Potter's hand, Call me, Guide me, Lead me, Walk beside me. I give my life to the Potter's Hand.

This song has been my prayer for the past several months. Just about every time I get in my car I put the soundtrack in and sing it. I want to draw closer to God more than I've ever been before. I want to be a witness to others around me.

Those who know me really well, know that I'm shy and I become very quiet when I'm around people I don't know really well. This week I have been able to open up and be a witness to some people. They have asked me questions about my beliefs and why I believe that way.  To some this may not mean much, but to me, this is a BIG step. I'm praying I can break free of being so shy and begin opening up to even more people.  God doesn't intend for us to keep it to ourselves. He wants us to tell it to EVERYONE.